I traveled home to my aunts funeral Thursday thinking the entire time, "What will it be like seeing my mom?" Will she act different than the last time? Will I act different than before?
Well we both did actually. When I arrived she wasn't there but shortly after I saw her outside. I could have just stayed inside and avoided her but I figured I might as well get it over with. Out the door I went and the first person I saw was my brother. Since we is the biggest reason my mom and I don't get along I figured I would fight fire with love and hug him first. I went over and hugged my mom as if everything was just fine. Let me remind you the last time I saw or spoke to her she was yelling at me telling me what a horrible daughter I was. Needless to say there was some reservations about that hug.
My aunt looked so beautiful. She would be so happy about the outfit her daughters picked out. She made us all feel like she was at peace. Those of us that had been around her were all smiling and bragging on her looks as those who had not come when she needed them most just cried. Don't wait until someone is dead to show them your love, DO IT NOW. Trust me..
If the death of my aunt was to show my mom that life is too short I am glad God took her but more importantly I hope it showed my entire family that those of us who have Jesus smiled at Dorothy as she lay in her coffin, we didn't cry with regret, we cried with joy knowing she was in the presence of the Lord.
The gospel was shared twice so I know my family knows how to get to heaven. Obeying the instructions is another story.
What did I learn through all this? That in the worse of times God can make Good come out it.
Please let me speak to those of you that I know personally are struggling with family members. Life is way to short. We are not promised tomorrow. Those we love that don't love us are still God's children. We must find the Love of Christ for them. Regardless to what they have done to us they are His children and He loves them unconditionally.
Don't get me wrong, I am not ready to start a relationship with my mom. The pain is still there from all that has happen. My mother can't have a healthy relationship with me but I can have a Love of Christ relationship with her.
I encourage you to do the same.. If you can't talk to that family member, send them a card, a note, a picture of your kids. Something to say, "Hey I thought of you today". Then let God do the rest.
Please continue to pray that I can Forgive my mom and Forget the pain.