Many things have happen since I wrote last. Things change around here so fast that I decided to wait until I had something concrete to say. For example, I have had a meeting with the DSS folks changed 4 times in a day.
What I am about to tell you will either shock you, encourage you or maybe both. Walking by Faith is really an awesome thing to do.
When I arrived here and went to see Karen I met almost a stranger. Not my Karen. She had changed physically so much I didn't recognize her. The physical change I can handle but the mental change I can't. Karen loves us very much but over the course of the last few months she has been completely brainwashed into believing she has to stay here in Nicaragua. That's what her "mom" would have wanted for her. The woman she lives with has made sure she knows that it was her "mom's" last request that she stay with her and not to come to the US.
After talking with Karen it was clear that things in her heart had changed and to be honest things had changed for me as well. I realized quickly I was now fighting for a child who didn't want me to fight for her. She loves us but she is confused.
When I went to Mi Familia (DSS) and was told by the Director that she just could not understand why I was fighting to love a child that may never be able to love me back I started questioning God because I agreed with her completely.
Prior to going to see Mi Familia I was praying and telling God that He truly knew the desire of my heart and even though we love Karen very much and we believe she was meant for us having a teenager who doesn't want us is not my desire. For 4 days I prayed asking God to show me what He was doing because I knew something major had changed in my heart and in Karen's. Now what about Terry.
I told no one of my feelings. Only God. Since we started to adopt Karen Terry has refused to even discuss adopting any other child. In his heart if he discussed it he would be giving up on Karen and he wanted God to see he had enough faith to believe for Karen. I told God that if he had other plans He better hurry up and tell Terry because that was going to take a while to change his heart.
Unbeknown to me God was already working. Terry went to Virginia and spend time with his sister who has a 4 year old little girl. During that time which was the same 4 days I had been praying that if God had other plans He would change Terry, Terry was also thinking about the fact that all along we have wanted a little girl. One we can bless with lots of love and one that will receive it in return yet here we were fighting to adopt a teenager who didn't even care how much she was loved.
On the night that I had the meeting with the Director Terry and I were talking (and remember for 2 1/2 years he refused to discuss another child) and in that discussion I told him what the Director had said about us fighting for a kid that didn't wants us anymore yet there are tons of children who do and out of know where he asked me "so what about those children", "how old are they". I was so surprised I didn't really know what to say so I said let's not talk about this any more. Let's pray.. let's see what God is saying because I was emotionally drained and could not handle any more changes in my life.
The next day came and went and we didn't even talk. Terry and I both were seeking God and looking for his direction.
On Wednesday of last week we have 5 confirmations of what God was telling us. Confirmations that could only have come from God since know one knew what we were going through. So...
As of yesterday we are now adopting a little girl. One we do not even know. One who is living in an orphanage here in Managua. We will be able to meet her on Thursday of next week. Terry will come on Wednesday and for 5 days we will be with her to see if there is a connection. Once that is over with if all goes well then I will have her for the next 3 months and then I will bring her home.
Right now we only know that she is between 7 and 9 years of age. They are investigating to determine for sure her age. Even the child could change between now and then so we really won't know until we get to the orphanage.
We have also asked to adopt Karen. If for some reason she changes her mind after therapy we would still take her but as she gets older and more time passes and she is not allowed to talk to us that emotional connection will be gone even more. However, if she changes her mind we will accept her as well.
I know you probably think this is crazy and yes it is but I can tell you that I have seen God's hand in every minute of it and I am at perfect peace which tells me even more this is God's plan after all.
What a great testimony this child will have. She will be able to tell everyone that God used her to bless 3 other children's lives just to get us to this point to have her.
I am excited in this new beginning.. this new journey God has for us. I can't even believe it is happening but it is and it's God's plan for our lives.
So for now please continue to pray for Karen. Pray that she is taken care of and loved in this foster home. We love her very much and we will not give up on her. We will be here when she is ready for us.
I am so amazed at God. Amazed at how He has taken us down this path put up walls and doors to direct us to this point for such as time as this.
I will share pictures of our new daughter as soon as I meet her and I am allowed to. I can't wait to introduce to you the hand picked child God has for us.
Please continue to pray for my safety, my health (I am sick with a sinus infection now, surprise surprise), our finances and my family.
I will soon have to move from where I am living because they won't allow me to live with another family which we did not know about and did not plan for and we did not think Terry was going to have to come as well. We know God did not bring us here and will not provide but ask that you pray in agreement with us that our needs will be met.
Thanks to all of you who have been praying for us. I have felt your prayers and could not make it without them.
The living conditions here are difficult to say the least and the weather and dust is driving my sinusitis NUTS.
I'll update more as I have new information..
Rejoice in the Lord always..
Angie & Terry