Sometimes I wonder if anyone ever reads what I write. Yesterday I got a couple of responses fussing at me that I left everyone hanging.. Sorry but this is a very long story and I didn't want to take up your entire Memorial Day.. :) So I left you in the last email at the point of adopting the two girls. 2008 was a year of craziness. We had to go to Nicaragua 5 times that year because of the adoption process. 3 days before we were to be voted on by the counsel a man shows up at the DSS place (Mi Familia is it's name) and declares he is the father of the youngest girl. Father? How can he be the father when we have already been told the mother and father of the girls are on the run from the police because the dad molested the oldest daughter. Who is this man? How did he find out we were going to adopt? It was a nightmare. A roller coaster ride that I wanted off of immediately.
To make a long story shorter the man was in fact Isamar's dad. He is also the cousin of her sister Carmen. Apparently this man had an affair with their mother. His mother and the mother of Carmen's dad are sisters. Yea I know it's hard to keep up with. After a DNA test was done (which took a month to get the results back) he was declared Isamar's dad. He had known she was in the orphanage the entire time. How could you leave a child there for 5 years. He had no contact with her the entire time and now wanted to be dad yet we had known her and been the only parents to her for the past 3 years. It was a very stressful time.
Well on December 6th, Isamar's 10th birthday I got a call that almost broke my heart. The orphanage had closed and both my girls had been given to the dad. He was given a choice to take both of them or neither of them. In one day I lost all the girls I loved dearly and my two daughters. Needless to say it was a devastating day. Funny how God works. I had planned on being in Nicaragua on that very day but God closed the door and the trip got canceled. I guess God knew the pain would be too much for all of us.
So what now? I just could not understand how we had spend so much time, money, effort, prayers, every minute of my life for a year and a half and for what.
Terry and I prayed and prayed about what to do and we both did not feel it was over. We went back to Nicaragua in February and through lots of prayers felt led to ask for the third girl Karen. I could not believe I was about to go down this road again but I knew God had called us to do this so we both took another step of faith.
We asked to adopt Karen in February 2009. She had been moved to a foster home and it took me two months to find her. We had been told so many lies in the past about the other two girls that we were not sure she was one that could be adopted out. We ask for an investigation of her and was promised they would. Months went by and nothing. December 09 came and I was there on a trip so I went to ask what the status was and again was told they will look into it. 11 months had already passed and nothing..
January comes, February, March, and so on and still nothing. We had decided that God must have other plans for us and my heart started to believe that this was over. Out of know where in August I got an email from the DSS that stated they needed to talk to me ASAP. I called my lawyer right away (who I had not talked to in a year already) and had her go there and talk to them. They informed her that they had approved us to adopt which was a huge step. Why? Why now and does this mean we can have Karen? No, that's not at all what that meant. That just meant that we had been approved by the government. That is a big step but doesn't get me to Karen, however, they also stated they had investigated her and did not like her living arrangements.
I am leaving out a lot of information to help you not have to read a book but in February when we found Karen we found out that the director of the orphanage had lied to the DSS and convinced them to place her in a "Specific" foster home. This home belonged to a woman named Ana. Who is Ana? Well when Karen was months old her mom abandoned her and a woman found her. Her name was Ubana. Ubana and Ana are best friends. Karen was taken from Ubana by the DSS when she was 4 and placed in the orphanage because Ubana was a drunk. She had applied to adopt Karen several times and DSS had denied her so she scammed up a way to get Karen close to her by lying and saying Ana was Karen's blood aunt. Yes I know this is one drama story.
So now it's December and we have heard nothing since August. They promised they would continue this investigation and nothing had happen. I went to see the Director of the DSS in December and complained that nothing had happen since Feb. 2009 and she agreed to go and see Karen the following week.
This is where the journey get's nuts.
In January the DSS folks informed us they had done an investigation on Karen, proved that Ana is not her family and declared she needs to be declared abandon. All this took until February to get done but PRAISE GOD we are making progress. February came and passed, March came and still no word on what they were going to do.
I went to Nic in March and declared I was not leaving that country until I had some update on what was happening. An appointment with my lawyer and the director was made for March 25th. Finally I would get some answers.
That meeting was great. The Director told us everything about the case and what was going on and that they were declaring her abandon and even agreed that I needed to update my paperwork and be back in Nicaragua by June to foster her for 3 months and take her home. Finally, we would have out little girl who was now turning 12. (I met her when she was 4). I remember I was speechless, all I could do was cry. The Director informed me that their policy was they must talk with Karen again and make sure that she can handle going before the judge. They are very tough with kids to make sure they really want to be adopted. No problem, she will be fine. She has told us over and over she wants to be adopted and we are her mom and dad. I left with a Maybe and not a Yes because I didn't want my heart to explode if something changed.
Smartest decision I have ever made.
One week later the Director and a doctor went to visit Karen in her school. No pressure, no audience, just her and the officials. During this conversation (which we were told very little about) Karen was asked if she wanted to move to the US and be adopted by us. The Director told my lawyer that in great confidence Karen stated that she loves us very much but that she loves Ubana also and doesn't want to leave Nicaragua. Karen is 11 years old. She had no idea that she was changing her future forever.
That week we were there in March I met Ubana. Her first words to me was Karen is mine. I need her. I need her to bring me water when I am thirsty, to wash my clothes, to rub my foot when it hurts. She is mine.
I told her I love Karen and I want her because she deserves a wonderful family and it is up to DSS to decide her future, not her.
Since that moment Karen has not been the same. Karen told us that she was told that if she leaves Nicaragua Ubana will die. She also told us that Ubana is sick and it would be wrong to leave her while she is sick. Tell me those are the words of an 11 year old girl. We know she is being manipulated into believing Ubana will die. So sad.. So sad that they want to make her a maid. Ana and her husband were asked if they wanted to adopt her and they both told DSS that they did. When ask why, they responded because we want to help Ubana. Not once did they say it was because they loved her.
So a week later we were told that they changed their minds and our adoption was over. Just like that... 4 years after we started and 3 girls later we are done.
I remember asking God, do you enjoy breaking my heart.. Did I really miss you this much.. How could we have this desire so much and be so wrong? It was a ruff 3 days once I heard this news. I questioned over and over again if I have ever heard from God or have I been making up my life for 45 years..
Needless to say we just didn't know what to think so I fasted for several days and prayed and prayed and prayed and asked God to clearly show us what was the meaning of this and much to our surprise we have consistently been told that this is not God's NO this is man's no and we need to fight until God says NO.
Fight how? do what? go where? there are so many questions I have had for God.
His answers to us in Part 3 of this Never Ending Journey.
Stay tuned for the next part.